“Talking to Helen was enlightening. It made me feel I could handle this ‘adoption journey’. She tells it like it is for prospective adopters. I’d not heard that kind of thing elsewhere.”
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If you are an adult thinking of adopting - but not sure - contact me to arrange a consultancy session. I am an adopter -someone who went through it all and is now grateful - who understands. I am also a researcher of adoption realities and a critic of the impact of adoption processes for prospective adopter experience. In other words I get why the whole thing might have either put you off or be putting you off. My message is stick with it. Contact me for a session to go through your experiences and feelings about being a prospective adopter. It may just mean a forever family for a child in need and a child for you. 

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My aim, if you hire me, is to empower you to make the right choice for you, given an insider perspective from an adopter on the side of prospective adopters.

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Adopting is a process and it is far from easy. I do not cost the earth to consult with. A session is £200. You will get a fully formed - from initial enquiry to the adoption order - overview so you can put your current feelings into a wider context. I offer:

  • To come to your home or meet you in a location of your choosing where confidential conversations can be had.
  • A listening ear, professionally organised (full confidentiality, a structured session).
  • A critical stance to engage with so you can find your own voice as a prospective adopter.
  • An insight into research relevant to your interests about adoption.


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In my working life I am an academic and for the rest of the time I am parenting my beautiful son, alongside my husband. Part of the service I can offer is to understand how adopting might be affecting your marriage or partnership, your sex life, your family and friend relations. Most of all I offer you a perspective from the inside regarding parenting via checklists, references, tickboxes, interviews, safeguarding assessments and the like. It is not the most obvious route to parenting and can be experienced as really rather painful. Consulting with me should enable you to put this pain into a wider context, thereby lessening the harm the adoption process can to do couples and attachment needs of the adoptive family.



Dr Helen E Lees